I show concerned parents who want to give their children the best start to life how to better understand their children.

28 Nov 2013

The Dangers of Substance Abuse - Part 3

Silence in my ear now. Instead of feeling guilt or remorse, all I can think of in my diabolical state is my next hit. With a need to drown out the creeping pain, I combine two hits, into a mammoth one and light up.

Without even waiting for the severely blackened pipe to cool down again, I fire up another gigantic hit. The rush obliterates all normal thought until I can’t even stay upright anymore. Every part of my body goes numb as I lean back into my bed, the ceiling swirling above me. The gargantuan session finally ending, I slip my pipe under my bed and close my eyes, the high so intense that sweat pours of my face like water. For two hours straight I lie like that, numb as a cripple and virtually unable to move a muscle.

As the numbing sensation slowly lifts, it is replaced by an immediate longing for another hit. With no more money and no more drugs, I curl up into a ball and suffer as the immense fall commences. Time passes like torture, every second the craving intensifying until the restlessness turns into morbid depression.

“Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” I ask myself the gruesomely familiar question.

Slowly the pain increases until every thought begins to centre around the peace that only death seems capable of providing.

Nothing can heal this feeling; nothing can surpass it. In a fit of weakness, all hopes of a renewed start had been destroyed.

In a depression-fuelled madness, I dig under my bed and pull out the rusty razor blade I use to cut up my hits.

“This is the only way to peace,” I think to myself with ironic bitterness.

I press and press the blade to my bare wrist until the skin tears.

The miniscule incision stings and burns, and I lose courage, stopping with a frustrated grunt. A tiny trickle of blood leaks down my forearm as I toss aside the blade and laugh scornfully at myself, my mind feeling on the brink of insanity.

“I’m so useless I can’t even kill myself,” I think with contempt.

Another unbearable night of withdrawal to face, I close my eyes and drift into a restless sleep a few minutes later.

That was a passage from Neville Naidoo’s novel, Shades of Grey. In graphic fashion, it paints a picture of an addicted person’s mind while at their lowest low. I’ll get to the high part in a little bit.

What you’ll notice from that passage is that the main character is alone. In an overwhelming number of the people that I spoke to, who had major problems, they were alone. Whether it is internal or external loneliness, loneliness is at the root of many problems today and is killing many people in society. For this, it gets no credit.

The Dangers of Substance Abuse - Part 1
The Dangers of Substance Abuse - Part 2
The Dangers of Substance Abuse - Part 4

More tomorrow

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I show concerned parents who want to give their children the best start to life
how to better understand their children.
And I show people who are facing difficulties that they are not alone


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