I show concerned parents who want to give their children the best start to life how to better understand their children.

3 Aug 2013

What makes a bad parent?

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Many ask what my feelings are towards my parents. My book is primarily about parenting, after my not so great childhood. Therefore, many assume I have ill feelings towards them. This is not the case. I don’t believe my parents did anything bad or wrong or intentionally malicious. I certainly don’t believe they are bad people. They did the best they could.

So then, how does one define a bad parent? I believe the answer is intent. Very few parents get up in the morning with the intention of doing something malicious, especially not towards their own children. The problems that I have identified today’s society seem to be more a case of a lack of knowledge. One can only know what one knows, and nothing else. Therefore, if you think you are doing the right thing, and perhaps it is the wrong thing, you are not a bad person. You are doing the best you can with the tools you have. (Alternatively, are you not?)

There is a terrible stigma in society where if you do something wrong, those around you often crucify you. This then makes it very difficult for people to own up to mistakes, even if one does realize the mistake. Who hasn’t unintentionally forgotten to do something for someone, or broken a glass by accident and had the world scream and shout how clumsy you are. I could list thousands of other examples. However, I’m sure you all get the point. I find this to be so sad because we could really make a difference in this world if society was more accepting of mistakes and people’s flaws.

The sad thing is we all make mistakes. There isn’t a person on Earth who gets it right all the time. I do realize why many people are hypocrites, as I explained in my book (long-winded evolutionary reasons). What I wonder though is, don’t we now have enough brainpower to override some of our evolutionary programming, which maybe isn’t one-hundred per cent useful in today’s society. Seems such a simple thing to say and do. Why then, doesn’t it happen?

O and PS. The parent of the child in the picture (the one giving their child alcohol and tobacco).
Well intentional or not, maybe they are a bit of a bad parent... hehe

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  1. Great post Daniel. It is important to teach your child properly and remember they do mimic and model the behaviors that they see on a daily basis. I hope that this photo was a joke and that this isn't a case of bad parenting.

  2. Hey Christy

    Thanks for the comment.
    Yes, I 'm with you about the photo.
    It really can be heart breaking seeing the hell that some kids are put through.
    I'm reading "My Story" by Dave Pelzer at the moment.
    He was abused—severely—when he was younger.
    It tugs on the ol' heart string...