I show concerned parents who want to give their children the best start to life how to better understand their children.

12 Feb 2013

How to Raise Your Child’s Emotional IQ

When children are able to effectively communicate their feelings and manage their emotions they grow into adults who are able to do the same. Children who have a high Emotional Intelligence Quota, or EQ, have a strong sense of self-worth, are sensitive and empathetic towards others, and can identify, regulate and talk about their own feelings and emotions in a constructive way.
Since children with a high EQ tend to express their emotions, parents and caregivers are better able to meet their needs. When a child’s needs are met, they tend to demonstrate more desirable behaviors and are more pleasant to be around.
By raising your child’s emotional IQ, you will be raising a child who will behave better, find it easier to get along with others, and have better academic and career success.
Start raising your child’s emotional intelligence by:
  1. Meeting his needs. When a child’s needs are met he develops a sense of self-worth and self-esteem. When children feel good about themselves they’re better able to treat themselves and others well. Even when your child is a baby, feeding him when he’s hungry, reassuring him it’s time to rest when he’s tired, and holding him when he needs comforting will contribute to raising his emotional IQ.
  2. Empowering him to self-soothe. Giving children the tools they need to manage their own feelings and emotions is an important part of raising their emotional IQ. Teaching a child to fall asleep on his own, take deep breaths when he’s upset, and think happy thoughts when he’s feeling nervous or scared can help him learn to work through his emotions.
  3. Helping him to identify and label emotions. Helping children put words to feelings and emotions can provide a way for them to better express themselves. Draw various faces and label them with emotions to help your child learn to recognize different emotions in himself and others.
  4. Validating feelings. Children have the need to be understood. Saying something like “I know you’re mad Abby knocked over your tower. It’s okay to be mad, but when we are mad we say ‘I’m mad’, we don’t hit” will go a long way in helping your child to feel that you understand what he’s feeling and will provide him with a more appropriate means of expressing those feelings.
  5. Encouraging self-expression. Children can be afraid of the power of their feelings. When they act out around those they love it’s because they feel safe and secure in doing so. Listening to your child and being there for him helps him learn to accept and process his feelings. Once he has done that, he’s able to resolve them and move out of the moment.
  6. Empathizing with your child. As you give empathy to your child, your child will learn to extend empathy to others. Being able to really experience and relate to what someone else is feeling is an important life skill that triggers compassion and action.
  7. Encouraging problem solving. When children learn to problem solve, they learn to have confidence in their ability to handle issues and to find solutions to their own problems and those of others. Brainstorming and working together to solve simple problems, like finding a missing shoe, to more complex problems, like how to help those less fortunate, empower children to drive to their own destiny.
In life, having emotional intelligence quota is just as important, if not more so, than having an intelligence quota alone.  Even the brightest child won’t do well in life if he isn’t able to manage his feelings and emotions and interact well with others. As you consider your parenting style, consider the importance of your child’s emotional IQ and how you help to raise it.

Syndicated, with consent, from http://www.findananny.net/blog/how-to-raise-your-childs-emotional-iq/

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  1. This is all wonderful advice, unfortunately these are all things my son, (@good_boy_roy) lacks, as a child with emotional handicaps he cant self soothe, never has been able to :( problem solving is very poor as well due to executive functional disabilities, so we have to muddle through in other ways. Many times by me being his voice. So thankful my dear daughter IS equiped to do all the above. Good post

  2. Thanks for the comment Kim.
    I'm sorry to hear about your son's functional disabilities.
    Have you looked for any professional help?
    They may be able to clear the muddled path.