I show concerned parents who want to give their children the best start to life how to better understand their children.

1 Feb 2013

5 Things Parents Shouldn’t Let Their Kids Do

Wondering if your parenting is on the right track? While not all parenting strategies will work for all parents, there are definitely some things that all parents should think twice about before letting their children do.
Think twice before letting your child:
  1. Break the rules. Do you let your 12-year-old order off the kid’s menu even if it says it for children under 10? What about Facebook? Does your preteen have an account with Facebook even though their terms of use say he shouldn’t? When you let your children break these types of rules, you’re sending the message that the rules that apply to everyone else do not apply to them. Children who grow up thinking they are above the rules may grow up with an indifference to authority and perhaps even a blatant disrespect for it.
  2. Get away with bad behavior. Find it hard to hold back the giggles when your toddler drops the F-bomb? Too tired to consistently enforce behavioral rules? Will you let your child do almost anything as long as you get five minutes of peace and quiet? When you let your child get away with bad behavior you’re reinforcing that the behavior is acceptable, especially if he knows you notice it. Behavior’s that are cute now won’t necessarily be cute when your little one grows up.
  3. Be rude to others. While you may not think it’s a big deal if your child constantly interrupts you while you’re on the phone or refuses to look someone in the eye when they’re speaking,  it is. This lack of manners, otherwise called social skills, will impact how your growing child will get along with others as an adolescent and adult. They are absolutely necessary skill to have to do well in school, work and life in general.
  4. Think you’re their friend. When it comes to the parent and child relationship, you shouldn’t be your child’s friend, or let her think that you are. Friends are confidants and those who have similar ideas and outlooks on life. Parents shouldn’t confide in their children as children aren’t emotionally able to handle playing the role of confidant. Plus, children and parents often see things differently, like when it’s time to go home from the playground.  Setting limits and guiding behavior is an important and functional part of parenting.
  5. Develop a sense of entitlement. Children who have a sense of entitlement feel that everyone owes them everything. They tend to be selfish and think whenever something doesn’t go their way it’s not fair. As they grow up, these children expect people to do what they say and get what they want when they say it and when they want it. If this distorted sense isn’t corrected, it can be problematic in the children’s relationships and interactions with others. To deflate this sense of entitlement, parents can teach their children the value of hard work and giving back to others and by setting limits on what they give their kids.
While there are many things you can and should do as parents, these are some of the things you shouldn’t. If you keep your kids from doing these five things, you’re definitely heading down the right parenting path.

Syndicated, with consent, from http://www.findababysitter.org/blog/5-things-parents-shouldn%E2%80%99t-let-their-kids-do/

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  1. Hi, Daniel,

    As a parent of two kids, I agree with most of what you've said here. We parents "shouldn't" do these things and many of us know that. Sometimes, these issues happen despite our best parenting. You gave an example of a child being rude. I just learned that my daughter's Girl Scout troop collectively did not thank their leaders for taking them on an all-day weekend field trip. I was mortified and immediately had my daughter draw all of her leaders a card. Then I reminded her about the proper way to behave in the future. She wasn't taught to be rude, but it happened anyway. My daughter isn't taught to be entitled either, but she behaves this way at times. She's 9. She's learning.

    Parenting can bring a person to their knees--it's certainly one of the hardest jobs I've ever had to do. A lot of us parents beat ourselves up for when these situations occur but compassion from others is so key.

    While there are definitely so many things that parents should and shouldn't do, I would have loved for you to validate that parents so often are just doing the absolute best that they possibly can :-).


  2. Hi Ellen

    Thanks for reading.
    I love you story about your daughters Girl Scout troop. What you did is great. In addition, I think the thing to remember is your daughter probably didn't do it purposefully. That's why I say a parents role is to guide. Well done on doing what you did.

    And you last point. I agree, most parents, whether we believe they are good or bad, are doing their best. I would have written that, I wrote that in my book, but I didn't write this article. It's from another source (with consent). Your point is very valid though :)

  3. Ahhh, it's less that the kid should not think of their parent as their friend than parents who think they should be their kid's friend! THAT IS NOT OUR JOB!

  4. #5 - is hard but the most important

  5. Ya, I think in today's very material, commercial, and outwardly marketed age, it's a toughie...
    Requires a lot of time to manage!

  6. You bet - as you know, this stuff is what I live and breathe and it all touches me some place - liked this article a bunch!

  7. Good for you Bruce.
    Good for you for having some passion.
    It's needed in this world.
    I'm there with you.

  8. I've seen so many kids get away with their bad behavior and bad manners, it just seems that these days the parents just don't have a clue or they fear the repercussions of a bit of stern verbal discipline!

  9. I think there are so many external influences these days, which is causes many of us to forget what is truly important: people. Let's be those shining stars and show the world what it's really all about.

  10. Very true about the influences, being a film reviewer, I've seen the reduction in certification over the years and things that would have had high age ratings 10 years ago are much lower these days, which isn't helping in my opinion ;)

  11. I didn't realize you were a film reviewer.
    That sounds pretty cool.
    Even as a casual observer, we can see the change, and I agree with you, it isn't helping.
    Do you have any power to make a change there?
    Who set those age ratings?

  12. Sadly, don't have the power to make a change ratings, I review films for the local cinema and for the radio station that I work on every Tuesday afternoon ;)

  13. Aaah.
    Thanks for the clarification.