I show concerned parents who want to give their children the best start to life how to better understand their children.

3 Oct 2012

Are men pulling their weight in society?

In the not too distant past, the two gender roles were very defined. Men were the hunters: strong and outgoing. Men’s role was to protect the family, make money, squash spiders, discipline the children, crack a beer while parking off on the couch after a long day at work; win the bread so to speak. Women had to care for the family, gossip with friends, pick up the children from school, cook, clean, iron, etc.

What about today though? Women have had to take on many of the traditional roles man roles. Most women have had to join the business or corporate world to supplement the middle classed man’s dwindling compensation. Have men stepped up to help in the home though? In most cases, I don’t think so.

In most families, the woman still cooks and cleans. She still does the washing and ironing. Most men still want to hang around in bars after work or pass out in front of the TV when they get home. Now it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that this isn’t going to work. With depression statistics, divorce rates and levels of stress on the rise, we can only wonder if this is a contributing factor.

In matters with the children as well, men don’t seem to be picking up the ball. Most are content to throw money at the problem or let the woman handle it. The thing is; she doesn’t have the time anymore. Even with the sales of my book, many women have bought my book (the print version in person). However, the men who buy my book are rare. This saddens me. Why did so many of these men have children if all they really want out of life is to sit around and drink beer? If you never want to kick a ball with your child after work or sit down with them and help with homework, why did you have them?

O and PS, I am a man by the by

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  1. 5 Google pluses; that's awesome!
    Hows some comments on this post :)
    You know you want to...

  2. Great post, Daniel. This is definitely a conversation worth discussing. Many men do share the added burden. I'm fortunate b/c my husband is sort of a clean freak and was always willing to help with our son when he was growing up. But this isn't the case for everyone. The demands placed on many working mothers is tremendous. Thank you for addressing this issue.

  3. Thanks for the comment Roxanne.
    I'm glad you have found someone who is willing to help out.
    It does seem like a societal problem though that needs to be rectified.

  4. Thanks for bringing this up, Daniel, good post! I too am lucky to have a husband who's always pitched in and who's a great support for everything I do and yet...he is Sicilian! Which goes to show that stereotypes are always off base.

    Of all the things you mention I think the saddest is that men don't read fiction as much as women. I've always wondered why, particularly as men and women's lives converge now more than ever before and both genders are super busy. Yet women find the time to read. Men instead watch TV (or am I wrong on this?) What a pity. Is there a way for us writers to change that? Should we write books a little differently to attract men? Different plots? Style of writing? I don't know. You tell me, you're a man!

  5. Wonderful advice, Daniel. As a child of the 50s, who was actually pretty much raised by Daddy in her earliest years and thought that was the norm, I whole-heartedly agree. Were my parents alive, they would agree also. They both enjoyed being around me. Well, most of the time. You make an excellent point about the time enjoyed playing with your children. Those were the best times and the times I remember most, now that I am in my 50s. Thanks! Mary

  6. Hi Claude
    Thanks for your comment.
    I'm glad you found someone who is willing to lend a hand.
    I wish I had the answers to the questions you ask...
    I can't speak for all genres, as the point I was making was specifically about my parenting book.
    You do raise interesting points though.
    I think we need a societal shift away from the "drinking and partying is super cool" etc. to "using your mind is cool."
    I think women also have a role to play in this.
    If women continue to marry men who do nothing, then why should men change?
    If women want more rights, and want men that chip in, then they can't settle for a man who gets home and cracks his beer open without doing anything else.

    Thanks Viola
    Good for your and your parents, spending time with each other.
    I don't understand parents who don't play with their children.
    Why did you have them in the first place then...